"Do not grow weary..."
The sun came out today. It was beautiful. Not only was it sunny, we had a high of 56 degrees! Children were out. Parents were out. Lawn mowers could be heard in the distance. It was a seemingly perfect Saturday. I had a full agenda of things I both needed to do and wanted to do. I did accomplish quite a bit. I finished the dishes and picked up from the company we had last night. I cleaned out the school cabinets. I folded and folded and folded laundry. I played with the girls outside. I took them to the playground. I ran with Richard. I spent some time tightening up some English with Parker. I made dinner and read stories. But as I write, dishes are piled up in the sink, laundry still remains to be folded ... school papers are stacked up in the corner of my den waiting to be graded, filed or thrown away and Richard has given me 30 minutes to finish this entry and hop in and out of the shower so that I can help him with STATS. Only five more tests, but just THIRTEEN DAYS to take them. WHAT?! Sigh.
Richard noticed earlier that I was a little less than hopeful. Days ... even when extremely wonderful, are tiring for me. Even on days like today where little girls give lots of hugs and give lots of wagon rides up and down hills and sidewalks ... even on days like today where contentment is found in "the wind blowing in my face," as Patterson remarked while riding in the van with the window down ... even on days like today where big sisters are caught holding the hand of their little sisters while they slide down the slide ... even on days like today where I was able to check so much off my "to do list," ... yes, YES, even on days like today I find myself more than weary at the end of the day, and wondering how I'll make it through another day. Days like today I feel like I question E.V.E.R.Y. S.I.N.G.L.E. decision I've ever made. And I feel like every one has been wrong. It can be so easy (for me at least) to get caught up in all that is going on around me and to grow weary in my life, in the way God wants me to serve Him. Sometimes I feel that things would be "easier" if I had this or that, or if I didn't have this or that:). Other times I just think that maybe I'm just not that good at whatever it is that I thought I was good at. Some days I just get extremely overwhelmed with all that goes on at 57. I'm thankful that at the end of the day I have a husband who can look at me and see my heart and know my need and remind me to "not grow weary." I'm thankful that at the end of the day I can curl up on the couch with sweet little girls who are eager to be close to me and listen to me read them a story. And I'm thankful that when I glance up from the book, I see this ...
A little girl lost in a book. A little girl that God gave me the ability to teach how to read and to introduce the love of reading. A little girl that I thought would never pick up a book without being prompted. A little girl cozy, content and peacefully lost in a book.
My prayer tonight will be one of thanksgiving for this day ... for both the joy and the struggles. And my prayer tonight will be that I will not grow weary.
Yes, there is joy to be found in the trenches.