Thursday, March 4, 2010

Still here ...

If you've spoken with me at all over the last couple of weeks or if you've read any of my FB status updates recently, you know that my nights have been consumed with tutoring Richard in his online STATS course.  It is both fun and rewarding to be able to exercise my brain AND to have an intelligent conversation (or just a conversation about something other than issues related to homeschooling and raising five females:)!!) with him.  But I will admit it I've missed having an opportunity to record all the thoughts buzzing around in my head ... and there have been a lot of thoughts.  The photo I'm holding in my hands above is one Momma brought with her when she came last week.  I am always amazed at how there always seems to be a photo here and there that I haven't ever seen.  I don't ever recall seeing this one.  I love it.  I love seeing me in Momma's arms ... reminds me all too much of holding my girls in my arms.  I love the eyeshadow Momma has on:).  We all have those random memories that just seem to stick out in our minds.  One of my all time favorites is of all the time growing up where I would stand in the bathroom and watch Momma put her makeup on.  I remember the green eyeshadow and the purple (and yes, Momma ROCKED these colors!!  I could N.E.V.E.R. be so bold and successful at the same time:)!).  I look at this photo and I wonder what was going on the day it was taken.  We take photos almost as much as we breathe now a days ... it didn't use to be that way.  What was special about this moment that it ended up captured?  I look at this photo and I think about how much life took place after it was taken.  I bet Momma never would have dreamed that the little girl she held would give her five more little girls to hold and love.  I look at this photo and I think of all the photos of me and my girls and all the life that is to be lived until they look at those captured moments and say "I bet Momma would have never guessed ... "

Yes, there is a lot buzzing around in my head and so much of it I've put far greater of an importance on than I need to. 

I am thankful for the night.  I am thankful that I have a chance to climb into bed tonight, albeit later than I would like, and more things left unfinished than I would have like to have left unfinished, but I will climb in bed and give thanks for this day and the rest at the end of it.  I will embrace the gift of rest ... the gift of Richard home with the girls and me ... the gift of life ... both that which has been lived and that which remains to be lived.  I will give thanks to a God who is both the giver and sustainer of that life ... and who is so gracious to me.

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