**note** Because Richard is away and because we just received orders for his next deployment, which just happens to take him back to where we spent the majority of 5 years without him as a result of one deployment after another, my blog posts my be a little "reflective" and filled with rambling thoughts for a while. **
"By the time I recognize this moment, this moment will be gone."
I heard this line from an old John Mayer song today. How true it is! I've been thinking a lot about days when I had time to sit with my girls and just take countless "self portraits" of ourselves. It has been a long time since I had time to do this or even thought about doing this. I've also been thinking about how I used to actually dress the girls in complete outfits and how they used to play and play and play in the front yard, dragging things all out of the garage and making a complete mess, but it didn't bother me.
We had time for it.
I can't tell you how many nights I've lost sleep thinking about these moments that I didn't recognize until now. I knew life was great then, but I didn't realize how special those moments would continue to be.
Life seems so busy now. I can't tell you how much sleep I've lost lately just thinking about how the days get away from me and so much of "life" is lost in the busy-ness.
Richard has alway deployed under Special Operations. His upcoming assignment will put his boots on the ground back with Big Army and thus we actually have more than two months to prepare (aka anticipate). We are thankful for this and are trying to square things away as much as possible prior to him leaving. For me it is going to be such a battle to really enjoy the now and not miss it for focusing so much on the future.
It is hard to process another deployment.
It is hard to digest how old the girls will be when all is said and done.
I don't want to plan my life away that fast.
I don't want Richard to miss any more of our girls growing up.
I worry about them not having a Daddy around.
I think about this little girl on the phone today with her Daddy.
There was a point where she didn't say anything, but did not want me to take the phone away ...
as long as she had it, she was "with" her Daddy.
I just sat there and looked at her and thought, she.has.no.idea.what.is.about.to.happen.
I know God is sovereign and He will provide.
I don't know exactly how He'll provide, but I know He will.
I also found these videos today.
They were from one deployment.
They remind me of a simpler time in our life, but also of a very long time without Richard.
Yet, they make me smile.
They are a great reminder of the joy that is always there.
We just have to recognize it.
For those of you who pray for me, pray that I would sleep:).
Pray that I would be who the girls need me to be.
Pray that I would be who Richard needs me to be.
Pray that God will strengthen this family and fill us with endurance.
And pray that our girls would be mighty women of faith!
And on a final note ... I am very much looking forward to attending another Ball once Richard PCS's (moves). Here is a shot of me at one of the last ones we attended.
I was pregnant with my Kate (very newly pregnant, obviously). It was taken at the Special Operations Museum in Fayetteville. SO MUCH FUN to be able to walk through the museum after hours!! Such a cheesy shot, and totally not reflective of my very serious real personality, but how could I resist posing with all the young paratroopers???
And goodnight Richard.
Remember Who You Are!
To God be the Glory.