Friday, November 19, 2010


Kate had her little Thanksgiving party at Preschool today.
Preschool is such a fun time in life.
All of my girls have not gone, but I sometimes I wish they would have.
So sweet to spend half a day, two-three times a week just being little.
No one telling you to wait.
No one telling you not now.
Always crafts.
Always stories.
Always play.
I feel so blessed to be able to take Kate (and Olivia) to preschool.
I really do.
It is a nice break for me and the older girls, and it is a special time for them.

God gives us so many things every single day to be thankful for. I think we really do all need to sharpen our vision and make sure we're noticing those things that are right before our eyes.

This past week I had a tough time being thankful.
Almost every minute of every day I felt like my head was just going to explode.
I am a thinker and sometimes I can over think and over analyze.
All too many times my reflection and planning turns quickly into regret and anxiousness.
I know that God is sovereign, but too many times my head tells me that if I would have, or could have just done this or that or not done this or that ...

God has blessed me with an amazing amount of endurance and motivation and enthusiasm for life all around.  But sometimes I fall off the fine line I walk and land on the complete independence side and totally forget who's in charge.  Sometimes I think my gifts and talents are my "right" and when I'm not able to pursue them or produce the results I want from them, I feel overwhelmed with frustration and many times bitterness.  

This past week I spent way too much time listing in my mind all that I've "done wrong."  As a result, I was not a very good wife to Richard or Momma to the girls.  And my head hurt so much from the "round and round" that was going on in my mind.  And my heart hurt from the love that I had withheld.

When I walked into Kate's classroom today at Preschool and I saw the Turkey with feathers of thankfulness, and I read that Kate was "thankful for her sisters," a peace came over me.
So many times I feel that Kate is cast aside because of the time I spend teaching her sisters or the time I spend toting them around from one activity to another.  Many times I feel that the older girls are cast aside because of the stories Kate and Olivia get and the extra attention they get before nap-time and bedtime.  Many times I feel like no matter what I do, I just can't get the "balance" right .  

But today, today when I walked into Kate's class and I saw her "feather," I realized the gift of seeing written the one thing I would have thought she'd never write ... and when I saw it, it was such a reminder to me of whose I am, and who's in charge.  

It is hard to put into words, but the thought that came to mind was that I am not an independent being and I am not fatherless, either.  God is amazing like that.  As I've said before, His mercies truly are new every morning.  

Praise God that it is, as Kate's prayer below states, "by His hand that we are fed" and not by our own.

1 comment:

  1. soooo sweet, MK ... seeing these photos and especially the video makes me wish for a preschooler in the house again ... such a pure and magical time in life!