Friday, October 5, 2012

Where I Need to Be

Today I went with Olivia and her class on the infamous Fire Station Field Trip.  Surprisingly none of my five have ever been on one of these! It was a cool morning ... 47 degrees ... so we bundled up.  As we stood at the Fire House, I felt Olivia nudging up close to me.  My Olivia ... the unexpected pregnancy.  The pregnancy at the most inopportune time.  The pregnancy that made me feel miserable almost every single minute of every single day.  The newborn who just never seemed to be happy.  The one year old who still kept us holding our breath wondering if something would "set her off." I guess you could call her the difficult one, and at times I suppose I've called her that too.  But Olivia, she is my Olivia and I adore her.  She has been such an example of how God's plans are many times not mine, and they don't always seem that amazing at first, but they truly are perfect.  I am so thankful we have her.  She keeps us all on our toes and gives us the blessing of a little one for just a little bit longer.

Looking down at her nudging up to me I instantly grabbed my camera and captured the moment.  I know all too well how fleeting this moment, the moment of my child standing oh so close to me, will be.  It is a moment that is special to me and important to her.  She doesn't think about it.  She just does it.  She knows me better than any of you reading this blog ... she knows that I'm not always worthy of "the best Mom award" yet she knows that I am there for her.  She had a moment and she took advantage of it to just be near me and quiet.

While I am not perfect, I have a Heavenly Father who is.  Many times lately I've been so preoccupied with what I haven't had in my day to day, that I've missed the moments that I have had to just draw near to Him and be still and in His presence.

Praise to Him for the reminder of where I need to be.

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