Saturday, July 23, 2011

Fulfilled, Tired, Excited and Numb

It's been just one month short of a year since Momma and Peggy (her oldest sister ... my aunt) drove over to our house.  Momma's been busy and sick and then, we can't forget, half her house was destroyed when the tornado ripped through Tuscaloosa (another post I've got in the line up).  But this weekend they finally made the trip for a much over due girl's weekend at 57.  They arrived Friday afternoon and will leave in the morning.  Momma made it through the weekend without getting sick once.  Yeah!  And we've had a lot of fun doing not much of anything but spending time together and wearing each other out.  The girls love seeing their Gran and Hanson Ellis giggles so much whenever Peggy's around.  Oh how I LOVE to hear those giggles!

This time next week Richard will be home.  I'm excited, but knowing that this is it before things really get started on his end just makes me feel, well, numb.  I guess numb is the best way to describe my emotions right now.  I know what's coming.  All too well I know what's coming.  I don't dread it because I know God is Sovereign.  I don't wish it to be here sooner because the memories of what it's like never become stale.  So I'm stuck in the middle right now just feeling so much and nothing at all.  Numb.

I've always thought that Sunday's were my hardest days.  But lately I have been realizing that Saturday evenings are my worst.  That's when Richard and I watch old movies or documentaries or football games.  That's when we stay up way to late talking about old times and plan out our dreams.  Saturday night is our time and I really like our time.

Six more days and a wake up.
Holding my breath, and yet still breathing.
All at once I am fulfilled, tired, excited and numb.

Sola Gratia

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