The First Step

Yesterday morning I drove my home-schooled 9th grader to Lansing High School so that she could take the PSAT.  It was early.  I was tired, felt rushed, and I was ever so anxious about leaving her at a school she'd never been to and where she knew no one.  All just so she could take a test two years before she actually needed to.  She, on the other hand, was calm, smiling and talked my ear off the entire 22 minute drive there. (In other words, her usual self!) To her it was as if it were half past 3 in the afternoon and we were on one of many familiar errands.

After dropping her off I felt a rush of unexpected emotions.  My sweet Hanson Ellis, my first born, had just taken the first step of the next step of her life ... and she did it with the same calm, steady confidence she has always possessed.  As I drove home, I wanted to ball my eyes out.  It really hit me at that moment that I have had the most amazing gift ever to have had the opportunity to teach her.  For a first generation homeschooling Momma, I really "got" ... without a doubt ... just how gracious God has been to us with that gift.  She still has the rest of high school to go, and that won't be a walk in the park for her, but I am starting to see the fruits of both of our labors.  It is pure sweetness.

I am in complete awe of my 14 year old.  She is so much fun to be around and I watch grow up.  I am excited to see the plans God has for her start to take form and unfold.  It really is a neat, neat time in her life, and as her Momma, in mine as well.

I give thanks to God for the graciousness He has showed us up to this point, and for the endurance He never ceases to provide.  And I rejoice at how her heart is continuing to grow in the Lord.

For all you mothers of little ones out there ... be encouraged and soak up the time you have with your little ones!  It really does go by all too fast.  Good days are always ahead, but the day you need to focus on is the day you are in right now.  I don't regret one minute of my time with Hanson Ellis.  I am so excited to see her grow, but also thankful I still have her under my roof for just a little longer.  The shift from her needing me to hold her hand to her needing me to let go of it is emotional :) but it also sure is sweet.

It is a neat thing to see your kids grow.  It really, really is.

Glorious

It rained constantly yesterday.  The rain and the wind took many of the beautiful leaves from the trees and with them covered the ground.  The sun came out today and dried the rain from them.  By late afternoon a steady flow of children with rakes filled the park across from the The House on Grant.

Yesterday Kate and Olivia took every opportunity to jump and hop and splash in every puddle they could find.  Today they jumped and ran and giggled at the crunching they heard under their feet.  Few things are far more glorious than hearing children laughing and giggling and simply enjoying the world their Heavenly Father created for them ... no matter what the conditions of the day.

Fort Leavenworth ... not what I thought it would be ... definitely harder challenges than I expected ... but I am learning so much and feeling more at home every single day.

Crossing the Street

In true FB form, my path has crossed with the friend of a friend in the FB world.  And I don't know how I obtained this great blessing, but I am truly thankful for the friendship of another amazing lady.  She has encouraged me to pick up my lens again.  As many of you might be, I am participating in the #FMSphotoaday  photo challenge.  I've never done one of these.  That should tell you how inspired I am by my new FB friend:).  (If you are in the Nashville area and need a photographer ... check her out at www.jenniferlawrencephotography.com)

Today was day 9 and the theme was RED.  I knew instantly what I wanted to photograph.  

So many images I take at The House on Grant are from my porch looking at the park across the street.  At this park there are a lot of big and wonderful trees.  About a week ago, however, I noticed one small tree that seemed to turn a beautiful deep red color overnight.  You can't help but being drawn to this tree.  It isn't anywhere near as big and grand as the other trees, but it is definitely the tree that gets all the attention.  Today when the other girls were busy with school and art class, I grabbed my sweet little one and my lens and crossed the street.  

Momma, I know you'll enjoy seeing these images.  I wish so much you could be here to walk through the park with us.  The girls and I think of you all the time.  We miss you and love you and pray for you daily.  We are hopeful God will grants us our requests and heal you completely. Next Fall we want you to come for a visit!!

I love the above image!! See what I mean about the red tree commanding attention?!

4 Months

Today was our four month anniversary at The House on Grant. 

Richard had today off.  I, therefore, had the luxury of spending over an hour cleaning out my closet and two chest of drawers and in the end finally, finally having my things organized.  You may not think that to be much of a luxury, but to a wife of a previously deployed soldier, it is a luxury that I know very well not to take for granted.

Yep, I felt pretty good about my little accomplishment!  That was one more thing I could check off my "to do" list.  Then I saw Kate this afternoon.  In the four months since we arrived here in KS, she's managed to make decorations for her room (which she thought were perfect on the first try), make friends with the kids on our street because, well, because they were the kids on our street:), and even schedule play-dates that are too frequent for me to count.  Now I know that the task before her is not quite as big as the task before me, but still, there is no denying that sometimes, many times, kids just get it right.  Kids have no time to put off living.  They somehow know, even without being told, that life is not to be second in line.  

Looking at the above snapshot I again feel the need to remind myself of a favorite verse of mine,

"This is the day that the Lord has made!  Let us rejoice and be glad in it." 

Psalm 118:24

Where I Need to Be

Today I went with Olivia and her class on the infamous Fire Station Field Trip.  Surprisingly none of my five have ever been on one of these! It was a cool morning ... 47 degrees ... so we bundled up.  As we stood at the Fire House, I felt Olivia nudging up close to me.  My Olivia ... the unexpected pregnancy.  The pregnancy at the most inopportune time.  The pregnancy that made me feel miserable almost every single minute of every single day.  The newborn who just never seemed to be happy.  The one year old who still kept us holding our breath wondering if something would "set her off." I guess you could call her the difficult one, and at times I suppose I've called her that too.  But Olivia, she is my Olivia and I adore her.  She has been such an example of how God's plans are many times not mine, and they don't always seem that amazing at first, but they truly are perfect.  I am so thankful we have her.  She keeps us all on our toes and gives us the blessing of a little one for just a little bit longer.

Looking down at her nudging up to me I instantly grabbed my camera and captured the moment.  I know all too well how fleeting this moment, the moment of my child standing oh so close to me, will be.  It is a moment that is special to me and important to her.  She doesn't think about it.  She just does it.  She knows me better than any of you reading this blog ... she knows that I'm not always worthy of "the best Mom award" yet she knows that I am there for her.  She had a moment and she took advantage of it to just be near me and quiet.

While I am not perfect, I have a Heavenly Father who is.  Many times lately I've been so preoccupied with what I haven't had in my day to day, that I've missed the moments that I have had to just draw near to Him and be still and in His presence.

Praise to Him for the reminder of where I need to be.

Missing the Forrest for the Trees

See the above image? My soldier's the one getting ready to walk down the stairs.  I remember thinking that day how it always seems like forever when they are gone, but once they are off that plane it is just over ... just like that.  Funny how so quickly it all seems to just come to an end!

Tonight was the first night since his return to us, that he was gone again.  Just a quick day trip, so nothing major.

  While in the kitchen getting dinner ready after our early evening soccer practice, it hit me that there was absolutely no adjustment whatsoever to him being gone again.  We all just sort of knew how to adjust our routine and the night was pretty peaceful.  

I thought about that a while after all the girls went to bed and I was left alone in the quiet. 

And maybe, just maybe I am going to have to work a little harder on my heart to remember what the most important things are in my life.  Maybe, just maybe I've been a little too preoccupied lately with little details that really don't mean that much, but that can completely steal the joy away from what I care about most.  

Tonight Kate said when I turned out her light, "I wish Daddy was here to tell me goodnight."  

She was fine, not heartbroken at all, just matter of fact and honest.  

There is so much that I worry over about trying to make her life and her sister's lives as spectacular as can be, but when it all comes down to it, all she cares about is having her Daddy home to tell her goodnight.  She doesn't need him to make her life amazing ... she just needs him.  

She notices when he's home, and she notices when he's not.

Tonight I noticed that lately I've been so busy noticing all kinds of other trivial things around The House on Grant, that I've forgotten to notice ... to really soak in that a certain soldier comes home to it each night.  Not that I haven't appreciated him being here, but it has been so easily consuming trying to catch up on life missed, that the life I  have right now has lost a little value.

God is always working in our hearts, isn't He?! 

I am grateful that He uses such sweet little people to gently remind me of where my heart needs to be.

We are still really oh so blessed to have our soldier home.

A Glimpse

It is definitely Fall here in Kansas.  The days have been nothing short of glorious temperature wise lately, and I have enjoyed every single moment of it.

This is our street.

And this is the girl who will single handedly be responsible for the squirrel's acorn shortage this winter.

To be honest, my favorite thing about Kansas is being outside.  The girls love it and I love it, too.  I don't know if it's just that we are not quite used to The House on Grant, or if too much of our heart was left at Sweet Birch Lane, but we are all so much happier when we are outside.  I am thankful God gave us a beautiful Post in which to breathe Him in.  I am thankful for wide sidewalks that little people can ride scooters and bikes and roller skates on.  I am thankful for big oak trees that produce a million or more acorns for my four year old's hands to gather up and bring inside.  (we have acorns in zip lock bags, in paper cups, under the sofa and even in our dryer) And I am thankful for long runs with my husband that take us by horse stables, train tracks (running alongside a moving train is really kinda fun) and on a gravel road that is sandwiched between a sunflower field and the Missouri River.  I love hearing the clock tower chime and little children counting up the hour.  Yes, Leavenworth is growing on us ...

Best Kiss Ever

LTC Richard Benjamin Davenport, my soldier, my greatest friend ... returned to Fort Bliss, TX and to our family on Thursday, 26 July 2012.  Many of you have asked me over the course of this deployment, "how do you do it?!" Well, definitely by God's grace!  But the hope of that first kiss is probably the second greatest sustainer, no doubt.  

Thank you to everyone who has prayed for our family.  Please continue to remember that while my husband is home, there are soldiers who have replaced him ... so many troops are still very much in harm's way and still need your prayers!  

More to come ...

Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow!!

mk

Correspondence

   taken by my soldier while inside a bunker, COP Charkh, Afghanistan

"I am really really happy to be out of Charkh.  All of the Soldiers are too. I am so proud of them.  They worked so hard in Charkh patrolling like crazy, getting shot at, lack of sleep, etc etc.  It felt so good to arrive last night in Shank.  Your prayers meant the world to me."  

As the days until we are once again the Davenport 7 are quickly becoming surprisingly short, I find myself treasuring all the more the correspondence from my soldier.  I am thankful for his words and find myself reading them over and over again as I study the images he attaches.  We had a hunch this deployment would be a crazy one, but we had no idea of the twists and turns he would have to face along the way.  I am so thankful he took the time to communicate via email and also via his journal entries.  It has been helpful to get those glimpses into this tour and it's been quite the tour for him to document.  I told him before he left that I wished I could have tagged along with my lens ... I think he did a pretty good job granting me that wish via his own (iphone) lens and his words.


I have longed for the end of this deployment truly before it ever even started.  But my "good morning" emails and my inbox being flooded at times with photos and new journal entries to read over multiple cups of coffee ... while they've not always left smiles on my face, but many times tears on my cheeks ... they have truly been some of the best gifts I've ever received.  


Here at the end of a very challenging 15 months of our life, I think Richard and I can both look back and know that while it was crazy, we embraced every moment the best we could.  And although apart, our lens and our words kept us connected over the miles.  I know there were days he didn't feel like writing ... like remembering.  Yeah, I had those days, too.  But we didn't always have phone calls and we maybe face-timed all of 20 min combined, so good ol' fashioned written words were all we had.  Looking back, I see the amazing gift in that.  


Continuing to embrace it all these last few days as we prepare to welcome him home, and not forgetting the gift we have of being able to do so.  

Rainbows

I'm not a young Army Wife. 

This is not my first, or my second, or my third or my (you get the picture) deployment.  And it doesn't matter.  I miss my soldier as much as the next wife.  My kids miss their Daddy as much as any kids would. Deployments are hard regardless of who you are and what number this one is for you.  

We are nearing the end, and while I would so love to be closer than we are, I can wait.  How? Because you see that image above? It is one of the most perfect reminders I can think of how God's promises are forever and they are changeless.  No matter what is going on in our lives or in the world, God's promises stand.  What a comfort that is!  What peace that brings.  When Richard sent me the above image, I just couldn't stop looking at it.  I was so amazed to see a rainbow in Afghanistan!  I'm not sure why I thought that was some type of great world wonder, but the image is just so powerful to me with the rainbow in the background of a place of combat.  

I have so much to be thankful for in regards to everything that has happened since April of 2011.  But one of the biggest joys I have is that as exhausted as I am at the end of each day, I wake up every morning and push through another day. 

I am thankful, so thankful that we have a Gracious Heavenly Father.  

I am thankful for rainbows and the reminders they are of God's word to us. 

And I am thankful I have a soldier who loves me, but who loves Jesus more.  

We are still in waiting mode for our reunion, but the days are getting much shorter! 

Many of our unit's soldiers have already returned to their families.  Mine will be one of the last, but if I am blessed to have him return, that is all that matters. I can't wait to feel him breathing next to me again.  I have missed his presence in our lives so much.  And I know he's missed ours in his.  How blessed I am to have the life I do.  I pray God will not let me forget the struggles I've faced and the lessons I've learned about my heart and my faith through the last 15 months.  And I pray as I move forward, that I use those lessons to His glory.

Evenings

The sun seems to rise earlier and set later here Kansas.  

Days are long, but they are full.

The kids usually play inside at one of the other's houses during the heat of the day, but in the evenings after dinner they all gather on the sidewalk and have some good ol' fashion fun with Duck, Duck, Goose or Hide and Go Seek.  Nothing big, yet absolutely how perfect memories are made.

It is always so hard to start anew.  But I am thankful for the instant friendships made in a military community.  It helps with the continued longing for Richard and the the new longing of life at 57.  Sweet Kate asked me the other day, "Why did we have to move here?" And Olivia keeps saying she doesn't want "to go to this Kansas house, but OUR house in Georgia." 

Oh!  If you only knew the number of aches in my heart ... 

I praise God for His plans.  

I praise Him for never letting me forget (at least not for too long) that they are good.  

He has provided and will continue to provide.

I am thankful that our days are full, but for now it is still just one day at a time.

Humility

Humility.

When I see those smiling faces above, I am once again reminded of how it is only by God's grace that we've survived the last 14 months.  I have honestly never been through anything as hard as this time apart from Richard.  I am humbled beyond words that God loves the seven of us so much.  In all our sinfulness and times of faithlessness, He never wavers in His provisions and in His care.  We are not deserving, yet God continues to pour abundantly into our cups that are already overflowing.

We still have two months left until Richard returns home.  Please continue to pray for patience and perseverance for the girls and me as we try to finish unpacking and settling into our new home and life in Kansas in preparations for their Daddy's return.  And please continue to pray for safety for Richard, as it matters not to the enemy that his time is almost up.

More to come ...  

Crazy in Love

You know what's great about a deployment? You are reminded of what it's like to be crazy in love.

The above is a little something I made for my soldier last night before bed.

The below is the front of a Green Beans coffee sleeve that he saved from a COJ (cup of joe) he purchased in Bagram.  He wrote a note on the back:).  

The next photo is his latest to me.  

He always draws a heart.

Always.

Yes, I am 38 and he is 42.  

We have been in love since the ages of 19 & 23 ... and we still act like we just met.  

Love and miss my soldier, but thankful for the sweetness of appreciation that we've come to find amidst difficulty of separation.  I treasure every bit of it!  

And I hope you are treasuring the gift of your marriages, too.  

They will never be perfect, but they truly are gifts that none of us deserve.

If you haven't in a while, take a moment to remember what it was like when you first met.  

Now do what you would have done then ...

If you do, you'll be blessed! 

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words (and a good reminder too!)

I know I've posted already tonight, but I had to post again.

Today was hard ... really hard ... for no real outstanding, out of the ordinary reason.  

But it was hard nonetheless.  

I was literally in tears when a friend messaged me a new photo editing site.

I uploaded some random old photos and instantly felt better.

Just when I feel like the worst failure, God reminds me of the beautiful gift of everyday life that I have.

I absolutely love, scratch that ... need captured images.  

Yep, I am that forgetful. 

Life is so beautiful.

I am so thankful for one more reminder of that before bed!

Oh my girls ... they are growing up way too fast.