Parker's Turn & Something I Wonder If You Know About

      

     

      

Last week was Patterson's  turn.  This week was Parker's turn.  I love Parent Watch Week.  We've never been involved in a dance studio where you couldn't see your children practice until scheduled weeks.  I was apprehensive at first about not having the ability to keep my all watchful eye on my children.  Were they paying attention?  Were they obeying?  Were they getting all the steps?  And what ARE the steps?  How can I help them when I don't know what's going on?  Maybe I should just do homeschool dance with them.  TOTALLY KIDDING!  I've been pleasantly surprised with myself.  I've not worried at all about them, outside of day one.  Maybe I just have too many to keep up with now a days to worry so excessively.  Maybe I'm just growing in that way and learning that they are OKAY.  And after all, it is just ballet.

So how'd it go???? It was as fun as watching Patterson's and just a nice gift to receive.  I hope you enjoy the photos.  For having 10 weeks remaining until the recital, I thought all went pretty well.  And as much as I tried not to, I couldn't help but get that lump in my throat when she was dancing.  (note ... the format of this blog has changed and I can't figure out where the upload video icon went??? Someone help!)
My little California girl, who beats to her own drum.  My second born.  My quiet one.  My sweet Parker.


NOW for something I wonder if you know about.  Richard and I are the WORST about dates.  Maybe his lack of presence is one issue (ya think?!) and maybe having a house full of girls is another (hmmmm ...).  All the same, we are terrible about dates, but have started enjoying 5 minutes here and there with each other.  I've referred to these as mini dates.  Sometimes we leave the older three under the care of the oldest while the youngest two nap and we go for a quick run.  Sometimes we just simply sit down and talk about things other than the girls (which may not seem that profound or big of a deal, but trust me, it is a special thing and a rare moment when it happens, so it gets to fall under the umbrella of a mini date:)!).  Well, I have a new mini date to tell you about.  I'm sure many of you have seen this

but how many of you have noticed this?

I have to give the credit to Richard.  He was the first to notice and since we've always thought a cup of coffee from Starbucks was a bit elaborate, we have started saving these little freebies for Sunday mornings en-route to church.  Sort of helps motivate me with all that is involved in getting 6 girls ready for Sunday mornings, and also helps me remember that my husband noticed something that was special to me and found a great way to make it happen.  Hope you all can find these bags of beans in your neighborhood!!

May you all have a peaceful night of rest and wake up refreshed and ready for the day God has prepared for you.  May "your light shine before all men, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father who is in Heaven."  Matthew 5:16

To God be the Glory.
Goodnight!

Truthfully Speaking

Okay.  So I know these entries have given some the notion that I am struggling with contentment.  I'm not going to lie ... I am, but aren't we all at some point?  Maybe my problem is that I tend to write these entries at the end of the day when this is what I know awaits me in the kitchen

(seriously, almost EVERY SINGLE night I have a sink FULL of dishes because my dishwasher is full, too! And to top that off, it's never the first time of the day where this situation occurs)

But ...

 tonight, I sat down with a little of this

and I finished the dishes before sitting down at the computer to give you a couple of random snapshots from my evening tonight.  (of course before I even got to the kitchen part, I had to wash two sets of heads, and put everyone to bed solo because the washing machine fell on Richard's head as he was trying to replace a hose ... see photo below ... so he decided to lay down a minute ... and there are two bumps on his head, so no wise cracks from any of you out there!!! :)!)

And then here are some other random photos I had on my camera from other day in the life moments.  

more of Richard repairing things around here ... he was quite pleased he could fix the vacuum with a coat hanger and commented that he felt like a "mini McaGyver"  (his hair was definitely long enough!!)
He also commented on my photographing this moment.  And this comment wasn't as funny.

sweet Lu .. looking at these images I wonder how I could be in want of anything!!

just a reminder of when all is quiet upstairs, your 3 & 1 year old are definitely up to something
(and take note of who is on the top shelf and who is on the bottom ... I'm sure my 3 year old ... my very cautious 3 year old, came up with this plan!!)

Yes, I wish I had more time in this house.  I wish I didn't know moving into it that it was only temporary.  I wish I could invest in this house without knowing I'd not get a good return on that investment.  I wish I could change this or that ... I wish I had time to change this or that ... I wish I could be a 115% homeschooling mom AND a great runner AND start up my notecard business again AND learn how to sew AND fix up this house AND have it cleaned every night AND still have energy to read and read and read  to each and every girl before bed , as well as read my own books without falling asleep holding them:), BUT I know that is just shy of impossible.  I WILL KEEP TRYING, though:).  And I will come close to loosing heart many days and grow more than weary in the process ... but I am stubborn that way and stubborn is what has kept me going many a days. 

In all seriousness, though, I know God is refining me.   And I am learning that my contentment is not in achieving "all of the above."  And I'll tell you ... I am sweetly humbled learning this.  I think we all can give lip service to that statement, but I am LIVING it right now.  I am truly going through the battle almost daily and I am thankful for those of you who pray for me ... who pray for all of us at 57 ... who hold me accountable and keep my heart pointed to Christ.  And I am very thankful to God who gives me a house filled with joy, even when I feel like it's a house in the trenches.  

Above and below ... things I saw tonight when I walked into various rooms.  I call these "redeeming qualities" of our girls:).  They are the sweet, cute things they do that make me smile.  Below was what I saw in Kate's room tonight as I walked by.  I had told her prior to getting in the tub that she had to put her lovey in her room. I remembered seeing the baby on the floor early in the evening.  Not sure why I didn't pick it up ... very unlike me:), but obviously Kate thought that baby needed some love, so she covered her up with lovey.  Sweet!

         Parker and Patterson spending time in books before bed.

      Kate being Kate after her bath.  Happy and lovin' her Daddy!!

I Couldn't Have Said it Better Myself

(an old photo of Richard in Iraq ... note the orange tint ... it was the sand.  Lovely.)

Today I read a "note" posted on a friends Facebook page.  I met Donna during Richard's 11 mos schooling in KS.  She is a Davenport by birth and has family that have children in school with my brother's son in Birmingham.  Small world:).  I like Donna.  I hope we are stationed with her family again one day.
Anyway, I asked her permission to copy her post here.  Her husband recently returned from a year deployment in Iraq and I thought she did a great job commenting on what a year meant.

I know it is just one year.  But while our deployments are not longer than 15 months, and sometimes they are spent with our spouses in "safe" places, they are frequent and they tiring and they are still deployments.  And no one can really relate unless they've lived this life that we now live.  And even amongst us, we all have our own battles of different degrees during deployments ... and similar battles can be quick victories for some, yet can completely ambush others.

Bottom line, LIFE is missed, yet life goes on.  The Army has conducted a study that basically states that it takes time and a half of non deployment time for a family to regroup from a deployment.  So that means Donna and her family need 18 months to recoup from the 12 deployed.  I don't know many who get this.

Here is her post.
Blessings to all my Army wives!!  And thank you to those who pray diligently for us all.

What is one year? Is it a lot or not so much? Someone actually said to me on Saturday, "Wow. Has it already been a year? That went fast." Really? Maybe for you. For us, this was one year:

One year of preparing every breakfast, lunch and dinner. One year of helping and eating with kids at every meal. One year of pouring every cup and fixing every snack. One year of wiping every nose, changing every diaper, and cleaning every wound. One year of dressing everyone, putting on every shoe, brushing every tooth and hair, packing every bag, helping with every coat, and getting out the door. One year of buckling and unbuckling the car seat. One year of baths, bedtime stories, medicine doses, prayers, and tucking in. One year of getting up every time in the middle of the night. One year of getting up every time in the morning. One year of doing every dish and load of laundry. One year of cleaning every toilet, sink, shower and floor. One year of pumping every tank of gas. One year of driving everywhere. One year of buying every grocery item. One year of disciplining and dealing with tantrums. One year of going to every practice, game and event. One year of taking every picture and video. One year of every drop-off and pick-up. One year of every dog walk. One year of every appointment. One year of mowing, edging, pruning, weeding and raking. One year of taking out every bag of trash. One year of pushing every swing, steering every bike, playing every game and reading every book. One year of communicating with husband and Daddy through mail, e-mail, chats, Skype and the occasional phone call. One year of telling him goodnight in the middle of the day and to have a good day before going to bed.

One year of working 18 hours a day, each and every day of the week. One year of trying to squeeze in time to write, e-mail, chat and Skype with wife and kids. One year of eating every meal in a dining facility. One year of showering in a trailer with a bunch of other guys, always in shoes. One year of sharing a CHU with a stranger. One year of living in something called a "CHU". One year of wearing the same clothes and boots day in and day out. One year of being covered in sand. One year of carrying a weapon everywhere you go. One year of walking everywhere. One year of not driving. One year of deciding between being up all night to see football or to get that much needed five hours of sleep. One year of no trips to the school, park, ball field, movie theater, mountains, pool, ski slopes, or beach. One year of missing out on what your kids are learning and how they are growing and all the funny things they do. It's like walking in the middle of a movie and trying to figure out what you missed.

Yeah, in some ways maybe it did go fast. The kids seem to grow so much and being busy with them makes the time pass faster. But really, when you look at it, a year is a lot.

Parent Watch Day (Patterson)

Today is rained and rained and rained.  It also thundered ... VERY loudly often.  The weather suited my mood perfectly (even, unfortunately, the thunder).  Our day started off wrong ... well, let's back up ... yesterday ended wrong, which bled into starting this morning and starting it wrong and so it went.  I didn't get Kate and Olivia to MMO, and school was less than anything of what I would have intended it to be.

YUCK.  

Just one of those days.

As I sit here right now, the rain is quietly falling outside and children are sleeping quietly in their beds.  Even Richard is sleeping on our bed ... in a very distorted fashion, I might add, but quiet, peaceful.

Richard did come home early today (he worked very late last night and left very early this morning) so that I could take Parker and Patterson to dance.  It was Parent Watch Week for Patterson's class.  I missed the last one, as I was unable to figure out what to do with the other 3 girls during this time.  Anyway, I was thrilled to be there.  First, driving there without the whining of two little ones just up from nap was all too enjoyable.  And second, it was so nice to see another one of our girls flying solo.  Patterson craves attention, yet doesn't know what to do with it once she has it.  She is the middle child ... the "creme filling" as one of the Chapel Childcare workers at Fort Leavenworth used to call her.  Patterson is the child that you want to eat up and strangle simultaneously.  

Patterson ... oh, Patterson ... Patterson is going to have a lot of energy for Christ's Kingdom when the rest of us have nothing left to give:)!

It was a treat to see her and her fellow ballerinas for 30 minutes this afternoon.

Finally, we had just a little bit of school to finish up after dinner tonight.  As I sat with Patterson reviewing her flash cards, and I looked up to see Parker diligently finishing her grammar ... I had one of those moments where I knew my focus for the day and for many of the days this past year has been everything but right.  It was one of those moments where I am reminded of WHY am I teaching them.  Why?  Glen Beck recently mentioned on his show that education is not a right, but a privilege.  What a great reminder.  It is a privilege and it is not just about stamping information on a little ones brain, but impressing God's truths on their hearts.  I don't know if I will ever get back to the teacher I was to Hanson Ellis.  Well, let me correct that .. not to the teacher that I was, but I don't know if things will ever be like they were.  I'm sure the answer will be no.  There is no way they can be and they shouldn't, really.  These are the circumstances God has given me for His glory.  He has created our family and our children purposely for His purposes.  Letting go is so difficult, but moving forward is something I have got to come to grips with.  And that seems so simple, and it is, but it's funny how sin makes everything complicated.  I never dreamed I'd covet my own life:), but essentially, that is what I do often.  I miss so much the way things "used to be" or the way "things were," that I miss the joy of the now.  I don't know ... maybe my life is really as messed up as I think:) ... or maybe I'm just too tired to continue starting over.  I don't know, I don't think it is the starting over that I'm weary of ... but the repetition of the same struggles and the same mistakes in those struggles.  It is so easy to look at the Israelites in the Old Testament and mock the cycle they just couldn't seem to get out of.  Obey God, receive His blessings, forget the blessings He had given them, disobey Him, receive punishment, turn back to God ... etc.  So easy to see it with them and think how silly they were to forget the lessons learned and miss the blessings that they had.  But I am just like that.  

J.U.S.T. like that.

It is quiet and I'm thankful for the quiet.

Richard's home and I'm thankful for that.

Patterson isn't where I'd like her to be intellectually, and she's not as calm or quiet as I need her to be,

but she's learning, she curious and she's happy.  

I'm thankful for Patterson.

God made her to glorify Him and He uses her to humble me not only in difficult ways, but sweet ways as well.

    

   

Our Mermaid

Parker has always loved the water.

I finally gave in and let her try out for a swim team. She's only a week into it and to be honest, I'm a little surprised that she hasn't complained yet:).

I had to trade in my coveted quiet time in the afternoon to take her, but it is worth it to see her "come alive" for her 45 minutes in the water.

Parker, our second born braking free on her own path ...

It'll be fun to see where it leads her.

Our Day

Today really did seem as close to ideal as a Saturday could be. The weather outlook called for a bit of Spring type weather, so we anticipated how we would enjoy a day outdoors. Richard and I had plans to wake up and drive to a high school up the street and run some laps around the track. Richard thinks I'm fast (and I'm probably NOT, but I relish him saying so), so anyway, he wanted to introduce me to running sprints and help me with my speed. Why? I don't know ... what else ya gonna do??? I guess it just spices up the ol' running regimen:). So we wake up and open the front door and are a little surprised at how COLD it was!! We were not expecting the 23 degree temperature that greeted us. But we decided we're up, so let's head out. We hopped in the van, turned the seat warmers on high and headed out. Of course at 6 am the high school was locked up tight, so we headed back to our subdivision and decided to just run some hills. Let me just say, I have NEVER been so cold in all my life!!! I felt as if I was suffocating and I was seriously wondering if my fingers were getting frost bite (even in gloves they were so cold it was painful). But we ran and returned home to little ones waiting at the table for their breakfast ... sweet little faces!! We fed the girls and then had our morning coffee by the fire. Richard made french toast, I made bacon ... then he headed off for his first softball game on the church league and I washed hair, cleaned up and had fun with improving the amount of pullups I could do and then I enjoyed the challenge of crunches with an 18 month old laying on top of me giggling:).

After lunch Richard and the girls (and a friend of Parker's) worked on the zip line project Hanson Ellis came up with for the back yard. It took him until dinner to finish (thank goodness for ACE up the street!), but it was a success. SUCH the Little Rascal scene .. our girls, the neighbors and Parker's little friend ... tons of kids ... some in helmets, some not ... giggling, learning, working together ... daring each other to see who would jump from the highest rung:) ... exchanging homemade friendship rings ... just good ol' fashioned fun. It was awesome.

SIGH ... so THIS is what it is like having a husband home. I am thankful for the work God has prepared for Richard. I am thankful for the heart he has for his job. He is just a couple of years from the option of retiring, yet the other night after a trying day he laid in bed and said "Mary Katharine, my heart is in the Army." Yes, my wonderful, I know. I know. The years of him being gone were so difficult, AND STILL ARE (sometimes I think we will forever be dealing with those years ...) but God wasn't absent then and He isn't now. I wish things could have been different. I do. But that wasn't God's plan. I've always known that, but I'm learning it in more in my heart than in my head as the days go by.

I don't know what the future holds. Richard and I have talked and talked and talked about what to do next ... where to go ... where do we want to go ... where do I want to go ... and then what to do after that, etc. ... sometimes I forget people really do live without moving every couple of years:). Of course I have input, none of you would believe me if I said I didn't:), but ultimately I'm just rambling. For the first time I see my life moving by me so super fast and I just want to enjoy the RIGHT NOW. I don't want to miss even just a second. And why should I? These are the seconds God gave me. A dear, sweet, new friend of mine reminded me today of the old saying "the days are long, but the years are short."

To God be the Glory.

Goodnight!

Still here ...

If you've spoken with me at all over the last couple of weeks or if you've read any of my FB status updates recently, you know that my nights have been consumed with tutoring Richard in his online STATS course.  It is both fun and rewarding to be able to exercise my brain AND to have an intelligent conversation (or just a conversation about something other than issues related to homeschooling and raising five females:)!!) with him.  But I will admit it I've missed having an opportunity to record all the thoughts buzzing around in my head ... and there have been a lot of thoughts.  The photo I'm holding in my hands above is one Momma brought with her when she came last week.  I am always amazed at how there always seems to be a photo here and there that I haven't ever seen.  I don't ever recall seeing this one.  I love it.  I love seeing me in Momma's arms ... reminds me all too much of holding my girls in my arms.  I love the eyeshadow Momma has on:).  We all have those random memories that just seem to stick out in our minds.  One of my all time favorites is of all the time growing up where I would stand in the bathroom and watch Momma put her makeup on.  I remember the green eyeshadow and the purple (and yes, Momma ROCKED these colors!!  I could N.E.V.E.R. be so bold and successful at the same time:)!).  I look at this photo and I wonder what was going on the day it was taken.  We take photos almost as much as we breathe now a days ... it didn't use to be that way.  What was special about this moment that it ended up captured?  I look at this photo and I think about how much life took place after it was taken.  I bet Momma never would have dreamed that the little girl she held would give her five more little girls to hold and love.  I look at this photo and I think of all the photos of me and my girls and all the life that is to be lived until they look at those captured moments and say "I bet Momma would have never guessed ... "

Yes, there is a lot buzzing around in my head and so much of it I've put far greater of an importance on than I need to. 

I am thankful for the night.  I am thankful that I have a chance to climb into bed tonight, albeit later than I would like, and more things left unfinished than I would have like to have left unfinished, but I will climb in bed and give thanks for this day and the rest at the end of it.  I will embrace the gift of rest ... the gift of Richard home with the girls and me ... the gift of life ... both that which has been lived and that which remains to be lived.  I will give thanks to a God who is both the giver and sustainer of that life ... and who is so gracious to me.