Uh-Oh

  (Hanson Ellis engrossed in decorating a box that would be mailed out to a soldier during one of her Daddy's deployments.)

I might need to clear up something from last night. 
So in regards to my "AA" reference ...
I think it was good for them to be around other military kids again, but unlike AA meetings, they weren't given any real solutions and that was my point.   I hope I did not come across as harsh towards AA meetings, I just wasn't looking for rehab for my girls ... they didn't go to camp with issues ... they didn't need any help to overcome anything.  As my older daughter put it once a couple of months after we moved to GA, "Momma, I kind of miss being around other military kids.  You know, when we lived on Post, everyone was different and it was so easy to just be yourself.  Here I feel like everyone's kind of the same.  That can be tricky when you're the one that's different." So really for her it was good to be in that environment that the baseline for everyone was that their were military kids.  For my other two, just knowing, "hey, these kids are living without a parent too and they're having fun" ... that was all they needed.  I know there are kids who have had huge issues to deal with as far as deployments are concerned.  I hope they get all the support they need.  But my girls were/are fine and I would have felt terrible if they would have come home scared to death about what their Daddy could face.  For Richard and me, we've never really spent a whole lot of time focusing on his leaving or really even that he's gone or that this, this or this could happen.  I think it is good for us to be as prepared as possible for the worst, but we don't want our girls to miss a beat of life worrying about the "what if's" or spend their life focusing on how "sad" it is that their Daddy is deployed.  We discuss issues as needed and encourage them through Scripture and prayer but we mostly just try to let them focus on life.  

I hope that makes a little more sense.  I am flying solo here with five.  I'm not really sure exactly what purpose this blog has:), but I know it is not something that is meant to suck up my time.  I'm great with numbers and with my hands, but words ... I love them, but they can be more my foe than friend.  I blog late at night and I type at an amazing rate of speed:).  I am thankful that someone mentioned the similarities they saw in the camp and in the AA meeting!  I'm glad I could (hopefully) clarify a bit.  I think this camp was more for fun than for extreme need of counseling.  And they do, btw, ask a lot of questions in the application process ... My guess is that maybe there is another place ... a better venue for those really struggling.  

My conversation with Hanson Ellis (my 13 year old) was more to illustrate a point and to seize an opportunity to remind her of who she is.  I think I've mentioned before that ever since she was little we have this exchange before dropping her off somewhere.  It goes like this ... 

Me, "Remember Who You Are!"  

HE, "I will!"  

Me, "Who are you?"  

HE, "A Child of God."  

Me, "What does that mean?"  

HE, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 

(and this exchange is known to be had between Richard and myself, too!!)

Goodnight you all!

To God be the Glory.

Remembering Who You Are

"For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are attentive to their prayer ..."

1 Peter 3:12a

"But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved." 

Hebrews 10:39

Operation Purple Camp

My older three daughters were chosen to attend an Operation Purple Camp this year.  This is a camp that is for children whose parents are deployed or will be deployed or have just returned from a deployment.  It is supposed to give them a connection with other military kids in their same situation and give them some skills to work through whatever difficulties they may be facing.  Of all the years that Richard has been gone, I've never applied to one of these camps.  I decided to this year, as this deployment was just a little on an elevated level for our family and being that we do not currently live in a military community or near one (the closest one, the one my husband was assigned to, is an hour away and is closing), I thought that it might be good for them to reconnect with other military children.  We've only had one deployment with an actual Family Support Group.  Yet once my husband reached his destination he was pulled from his unit and assigned to a Marine one (of all things!) so while my girls are used to being without other kids to chum with during a deployment, it is one thing to do that in a town that understands deployments ... another to do it in a civilian community.  I was hesitant.  As soon as they were chosen I had a fear come over me of "Wait!  What have I done?? Will they leave here happy and motivated and return with their eyes open to the horrors of war?"  I asked a few good friends and was assured they'd be okay.  That this would not be like an AA meeting:).  So I took the plunge and informed the girls they were going to camp!!  They were thrilled and did have a super good time.  I was so proud of them.  They constantly amaze me with how they can just jump into an unfamiliar situation and thrive.  If only I had a teensy bit of that boldness!

To make it even better, their Daddy was able to drive with us down to drop them off.  (and I still have a post due on that amazing weekend out of nowhere!)

So why the verses above?  Well, I found it interesting in listening to my oldest talk about how great camp was and why.  I found her needs to be strikingly similar to my own.  I knew they'd enjoy connecting with other military kids, but I guess I never thought about how much they actually needed that.  At least my 13 year old.  She's fine here and is settling into her life here more and more each day, but she admitted that it was just so nice to be able to have people who've "been in my (her) shoes."  I was happy for that for her too!  I'll never forget the first time I walked into the ROTC building at the University of Alabama with Richard after we'd been married.  I felt instantly amongst the company of friends.  And the funny thing, it wasn't as if I didn't feel connected before I walked in those doors, but when I walked in it was just so much like walking into any Army building on any of the various Posts where we'd lived.  I felt at home and I felt good.

As I listened to Hanson Ellis talk (and talk she did ... maybe over an hour straight:)!) I couldn't help but thinking about how neither of us feel that connection at church.  I don't know, maybe that's okay in a sense.  After all, it's not like we don't have any connections other than military related and so much of our life is military driven, that it's natural to feel more connected to "family" than "friends" in certain situations, if that makes sense.  But I felt a stirring in me to dive deeper into this conversation with Hanson Ellis.  I asked her "So what did they tell you to do when you had an issue?"  She responded with basically all they said to do was write down your feelings in a journal.  That's fine and a great idea, but I reminded her that we as Christians have answers.  That we have HOPE.  The verses above are just two that I keep at my computer to keep my focus on this.  I think it's great that she's an Army Child and proud of it.  But I told her to make sure that she wasn't taking a trait and making it her identity.  And of course this was a great reminder to myself, too.  How easy it is for us to turn our circumstances into what defines us, rather than taking what defines us into our circumstances.  May we all keep a close eye on what title we claim, because that is the title we'll have.

To God be the Glory!

(and it really was a super fun old fashioned camp!!  they had a blast and I was happy for them to go and happy for them to return:)!)

It's a Girl's World

Kate and Olivia participated in an Angelina Ballerina Camp this week.  I almost changed my mind about it.  None of the other girls did anything like this at such an early age.  It's funny, the more kids I have the less money we have for the extras like this, yet the more need for extras like this there seems to be.  The only reason I signed them up initially was because their Daddy was gone and it gets lonely and because their older sisters were going to camp and I wasn't sure if I would need a carrot to dangle to get them (and me) through the week without them.  They were surprisingly fine without their older sisters, and I hyperventilate a little whenever I spend money:), so I almost cancelled their enrollment.

However last week we were just super busy and the whole week was so out of sync and just full of "yuck" and I therefore never got around to making that phone call.  I'm so glad I didn't.  This week was so much fun for them and definitely worth every penny.  I had to post the videos for their Daddy and Gran and Poppa.  The songs crack me up!  So girly.  I can't help but think of my nephews who would just be mortified to not only be in this sort of camp, but to just be in the room today!  :) So, so funny how different boys and girls are.  I love it!

Here they are ... Rainbow Connection and Circle of Friends.  I can hear Richard's laughter at the titles already!

rainbow connection

circle of friends

and just b/c I love the way photos look here as opposed to how they look on FB ... (one day I'll get my flickr acct updated ... and btw we had a slight accident just as we were walking out the door this morning so we were late and I got the "here you can stand in the doorway" spot, so my photos are all from the side)

Just Like That, I Woke Up And It's Tuesday

Hope you all had a great Fourth of July weekend!  Richard came into town on Saturday and we had to drive the older three to AL for camp on Sunday, so we sort of hung back with the younger two Monday and took it easy.  We took the two still at home to our pool, where there was free food, several vendors, way too many people and a DJ blaring songs of which 99% were completely inappropriate.  For whatever reason he threw Sweet Home Alabama (in UGA land ... go figure!) so that accounted for the 1%.  It was fun for the girls and Kate LOVED showing her Daddy how she has learned to swim underwater.  Other than that, it was a little over the top and we were more than satisfied with only spending two hours of our day there. The best part of our 4th, to me, was the 20 minutes I spent in the blazing sun throwing the football with Richard.  Richard and I have spent many hours talking while throwing the baseball or football. I could literally throw back and forth to Richard all day long.  It is one of my most favorite things to do and I miss it so much when he's gone.

Richard left this morning ... and we almost didn't think we'd make his flight!  We pulled up ... both got out ... he to get his backpack from the trunk and I got out to get in the driver's seat.  When I  walked around to the other side of the van, he was gone.  Just like that.  There were so many people dropping off and picking up ... cars everywhere from the long weekend, I suppose ... he just seemed to be gone in a flash.  That struck me as appropriate.  Just like that he was here and just like that he was gone.  It reminded me that I woke up this morning and it was Tuesday.  Just like that the weekend was over, and the life I'm most familiar with had returned.

I got back in the van, squeezed my way back into the insane Atlanta traffic and headed home.  I had some errands to run, care packages to mail the girls at camp and lunch to get for Kate and Olivia.  It is now the afternoon and I'm drinking my usual cup of afternoon coffee and getting ready to take Kate to swim lessons.  Then we'll eat dinner, get baths, read stories and I'll put them to bed.  Maybe then I'll catch up on the laundry from the weekend, get some bills ready to mail and plan my day for tomorrow.

Richard and I listened to a couple of Coach Saban's speeches on Youtube yesterday afternoon while the girls were napping.  One thing he said that caught my ear was that (and I'm paraphrasing) "life was hard, but you gotta play the next play."  That is so true.  We had a great weekend, but it is Tuesday and Richard is gone.  That play is over and time to move on to the next one.

************************************

Okay, obviously this was a post I started on but never finished.  It's actually not a hundred degrees outside with a hundred percent humidity, so the girls are OUT and I have a bit of time to catch up on some things.  

As I read this post, I think about how it's just been ten days since Richard left (again), but it seems like an eternity ago.  It always does:). Looking at the above photo, I am so reminded of exactly how I felt when I took it.  "Why can't we just have a normal life where we go out to eat up the street at the local pizza restaurant on Fridays?"  I get insanely depressed sometimes when I hear friends or family saying they went out to eat or to just get some ice cream.  Well, not really depressed:), but a little discouraged.  I know that no one has a perfect life and I'm sure that simple family time like this can be easily taken for granted if it is the norm ... but still, I enjoy it so much and just think about our oldest who was just starting Kindergarten when war became a daily part of our life.  When Richard is done with this current assignment she'll be in High School.  Just sort of makes me ache a little for what we didn't get to do.  

BUT God is good and we have had a zillion blessings and wonderful memories:)!  He always more than provides and as Richard reminds me when I need to be reminded, His plans are not always what I would have planned ... but they are better.  I've not pinpointed exactly how some of those plans are better:), but I can pinpoint ways He has provided.  As I opened my blinds this morning in the dining room I looked out into my beautifully mowed yard.  I didn't mow it.  I didn't hire someone to mow it.  I didn't even ask someone to mow it.  Yet it was mowed.  God has provided selfless neighbors who see my need and don't hesitate to fulfill it.  And there are so many more provisions just like that.  One thing I struggle almost daily with here is the lack of a unit with which to be connected.  I have a huge need for encouragement from someone in my same shoes.  I'm female ... if you're female, you get that.  God designed us that way.  From an early age boys can go to the restroom alone.  Girls need someone to go with them.  We're just that way.  So I have a need ... I see no way for God to provide and yet, you guessed it, He has!  If you're connected to me via FB, you've seen my link to this new blog.  For those of you not connected that way, here it is.  This is going to be an amazing blog to follow.  I think for military couples it will be so beneficial, yet I think civilians can gain an insight like never before into what we experience.  It is written by the husband and the wife.  The link I'm posting will take you to the wife's page.  At the top of it you can click over to the husband's page.  I don't know this couple.  I don't know what this blog will be like over the next year.  But the two posts I've read have hit both my heart and Richard's in a powerful way.  I have already been so encouraged by knowing I have this connection ... even though it is so indirect!  I praise God for providing yet again.  

Here's the link ...

Her Fight of Faith

Sola Gratia!!

WHEW!

Summer's been pretty much non-stop.  I've got a couple of posts on my "to-do" list, but for now, in honor of the last day of Kate and Olivia's Angelina Ballerina dance camp, here's a little video of Olivia at her best.  ( BTW, I have no idea who Kelly is, but apparently it is her birthday.)

Enjoy!

Olivia at her Best

Happy Fourth! Let's Have Cake!!

In an amazing course of events ... actually as a result of a very brief moment with an amazingly generous stranger ... my soldier's coming home for the 4th!

Hanson Ellis has been wanting me to teach her how to make a pound cake.  I thought there was no better occasion than this!  I used to make this cake all the time when Richard and I were first married.  My Grandma used to make it almost every week when I was in college:).
Simple, perfect, delicious.
If you haven't found that special thing to eat with your strawberries or blueberries this weekend, maybe you should try this!

Happy Birthday America!!

Cream Cheese Pound Cake

1 and 1/2 cups butter, softened
1 8-ounce package cream cheese, softened
3 cups sugar
3 cups cake flour, sifted
6 large eggs, room temperature

Preheat oven to 300
cream butter and cream cheese together
add sugar an beat until light
add flour and eggs alternately, beating after each addition
pour batter into a greased and floured 10-inch pan
bake for 1.5 hours
cool on a wire rack for 20 min before removing from pan

This cake always makes a bundt for me and then two mini loaves.  You don't want it to overflow, so make sure your pan is big enough before pouring it all into it!  This is also a great cake to make while cleaning your house ... it takes a while to bake, so you've got to be able to hang around a bit, and your house will smell oh so good as a result!  It is great the day you bake it, but even better the next!
Enjoy!!