Just Days Left and Daddy Dolls

This is me.  

This is me Thanksgiving morning super thrilled that is the last holiday I'll spend without Richard this year.

(see how happy I am?!)

And this is why I do NOT participate in the "What I Wore Wednesday" posts in blogland.  

Y'all know this photo is hilarious!!!!!!!!! So awful, so not who I am, but still so filled with joy that I wanted to post it.  (I mean seriously, could my smile be any bigger???!!! I so knew once Thanksgiving was over I'd be seeing my soldier soon!)

This man, 

will be leaving this place

very soon and coming home to five completely un-expecting, but very deserving sweet girls.

I can hardly stand it.  As I type this there is an 8 year old throwing up with a stomach ache ... her third in just two weeks ... crying because she misses her Daddy.  Christmas is hard for her without her Daddy.  I knew it would be, but not to this extent.  She will be fine, but she is just young and has such a big heart for her Daddy.  She's old enough to be aware that he's gone and in a dangerous place and will be gone a while, but she's not old enough to really make sense of it all ... to understand and cling to the "honor" aspect of what he does.  She just misses her Daddy.  

On Richard's last trip home, we took photos of him with each girl individually.  They didn't know it, but we needed these photos for a special gift for them.  We ordered each girl their own Daddy Doll.  Richard picked out a verse special for each one too and we had it printed on the bottom. 

 I think at first a couple loved them right away and a couple sort of thought, "great another something for us because Daddy's gone."  They didn't really know what to think about it just yet.  Maybe it was just too powerful ... 

I don't know... but I do know that they love them.  I've watched them.  And I've seen their love of these dolls.  I wish I could show you the quiet moments where as I walk by their rooms and I see them reaching up on the dresser to get their doll down ... or when they get in the van after school and say "My Daddy Doll!" while they grab their doll and squeeze it with all their might.  

I wish you could see them in the morning sound asleep with a bed full of stuffed animals, but their head is leaning on their Daddy Doll.  ... or when I bring something to my 13 year old's room and she's sitting at her desk looking at  her doll.  They don't take them everywhere ... but they go to these dolls when they really miss their daddy.  They love these dolls.  They use these dolls.  They find comfort in them.  

I cannot say enough about the company who makes these dolls, too.  The customer service I received was amazing.  They even reimbursed me for some editing charges I paid for when they deemed the editing not that big of a deal.  They truly love the joy their dolls bring not just military children, but civilians, too!  

I need to go check on my sweet Patterson.  I think I'll go get her doll off her bed now and take it to her.  

I am thankful, so thankful for companies like this one who make such a big difference in little people's lives!  And I am beyond thankful that my girls will get the best Christmas present they can imagine this year.  I know not everyone will have this blessing.  

The Daddy Doll company would like to make a free doll for one of you.  If you have a little one who would like a doll, please submit a comment and I'll announce a winner on Christmas Eve.  I don't really like giveaways ... that is really not what this blog is about, but when this company offered, I couldn't refuse.  And remember, you do NOT have to be military to win!  (nor does this have to be a doll for a child and their Dad!! It could be a Mom or a grandparent ... )

Life is never without it's trials ... no matter who we are.  But if we stop and truly think about it, I think we all will see a cup that overflows.  

A Good Weekend

It is Sunday night.  Thanksgiving weekend is coming to a close.  The girls and I had a great weekend at Richard's father's house in South Carolina, which we fondly refer to as Camp Davenport.  I'm a city girl.  I am.  There's no doubt about it.  I need Starbucks, Dean and Deluca, JCrew, Pottery Barn, Anthropologie, and lots of people and activity around me.  But there is nothing quite like a good weekend trip to the country to refresh one's soul.  We had all the Thanksgiving Weekend usuals ... catching up with cousins, jumping in the biggest leaf pile we could make, hay rides, hikes, bonfires, football, too much t.v., too much food ... and this year we even added rolling down the hill in a barrel and building a castle out of hay bales!  It is so nice for the girls to just have some good old fashioned fun.  We are very blessed that Richard's Dad and his wife gave up the city life to live the life they do now.  We are so blessed to have been close enough throughout the years to make a tradition of going there over of Memorial Day weekend and Thanksgiving Weekend.  It really is one of the only traditions we've maintained since Richard and I started dating almost 19 years ago.  It is very, very special to us and to our girls.    

Looking forward to getting back into the swing of things tomorrow.  Just weeks until I see my soldier again!  Gotta get focused with checking things off the "to do" list.  Now that we are certain it's going to happen, I've been praying a lot about those 14 days.  It's a challenge for us to balance a visit like this, no doubt. But I am starting to spend increasingly more time daydreaming about getting to talk to him face to face for the first time in three months and it's sweet to hear him getting excited too.  

Hope you all had a nice time of reflection over the Thanksgiving weekend!  May you carry the reminder of your many blessings into this week and those following.  

To God be the Glory!

Life

I  love the image above.  

Almost perfect ...

filled with anticipation ...

just a moment ...

life.

It is early morning in Afghanistan, but it's not just any morning.  This morning is Thanksgiving morning for thousands of American troops, my husband included.  Can you read that without tears welling in your eyes?  I can barely type it without tears not only welling in my eyes, but streaming down my face.  And they are not tears for me and the empty chair at our dining room table.  No, they are tears for my husband who volunteered, yes, but who still would so much rather be throwing the football with his Dad and taking long slow walks through the beautiful countryside with his family.  And that may not sound like that big of a deal.  And maybe it wasn't even to him prior 9/11 ... but it definitely is now.  

Two Davenport girls have birthdays in November.  

(and I know what all you military wives are thinking and yes, deployment rotation is correct!) 

Patterson is our second November birthday, but our first to be born in November.  I got pregnant with Richard after a deployment to the Philippines.  It was his first big deployment as a PSYOPer.  He left again shortly after I became pregnant with her for a two week trip.  The Wednesday prior to the Friday that he was supposed to return a fellow Officer arrived at our house to get more clothes.  Needless to say those two weeks turned into almost six months.  He was able to come home for two weeks of Thanksgiving leave (which we had to fight for and which we had to pay for) .  Patterson was born smack dab in the middle of those two weeks.  That deployment was a pivotal point in my life.  I learned with that deployment that being married to a Special Operations Officer meant to always expect the unexpected, that I was going to be without my husband more than I was going to be with him and that despite how big the hill was to climb, and despite how out of shape I was to climb it, God would always more than provide.  For those of you who know my Patterson, you are well aware of her zeal for living life to the fullest.  She is our little go getter, and the daughter Richard calls "110."  It should be no surprise that she is the only Davenport girl who was even too impatient to wait to be born!  Yes, I went into preterm labor with Patterson and going through the process of stopping labor was worse than any labor I've experienced (and trust me, I've got some stories!).  But the blessing of that moment was that I didn't have a number for Richard and  even if I would have, I wouldn't have called him ... what could he have done?  But to my surprise he felt something was up with me and when he didn't reach me at home, called the ER.  And sure enough, that's where I was.  I learned through that experience the sweetness of "oneness" that Richard and I share.  What assurance to know that he is never too busy to think of me and care for me.  

I love Thanksgiving.  I will miss my soldier this year.  He will miss us.  But we have so much to be thankful for.  In about a month we will be hopefully welcoming Richard home for a R&R.  

Life.

just a moment ...

filled with anticipation ...

almost perfect.

Happy to celebrate another year of life with our sweet Patterson! 

Thrilled to be celebrating Thanksgiving with Richard's family tomorrow.

Praying for Richard and all of our troops abroad as they celebrate alone and for our troops at home as they celebrate on R&R.

Praying for the families who carry on even though there hearts ache for the ones they love.  

And giving thanks for life ... for the joys and the aches that keep it real and keep our focus on the gifts that we have.  

Praying especially for a fellow Renegade soldier who was seriously injured this past week.  His will to survive blows me away.  I am so encouraged and humbled by his story and it is with utmost honor that our family lifts him up in prayer.

Happy Thanksgiving y'all!

To God be the Glory.

Five

"You know why I like smiles?  Because they are beautiful." 

Kate, age 4

Katharine Semmes Davenport will celebrate her fifth birthday tomorrow. 

Our fourth daughter, born on Veteran's Day (observed) 2006 ... the very first Veteran's Day Richard observed as a Veteran.  

Kate.  Oh my Kate.  Whenever I even begin to feel down, she appears out of nowhere and gives me a hug.  Whenever Richard hugs me, she appears again out of nowhere and wedges herself between us.  

Kate has the biggest heart of any little kid I've ever seen.  Her teacher wrote to her last year, "Kate, you are a good friend."  Totally couldn't have described her any better myself.

I'm not going to be cliche and say that I can't believe it's been five years already!  No.  Honestly, I can't believe it's been only five years.  It seems like an eternity ago since you were born.  In five years you've lived in four houses, three states and have learned how to walk, talk, swim, write, whistle and swing by yourself!  I love your drawings,your inability to accept the negative (two strong traits you get from your Daddy) your fascination with George Washington and your acceptance that you cannot marry Trey because while he loves Jesus, he is still a Tennessee fan:).  

Happy Birthday to Kate the Great.  

Love you my sweet girl!! 

Proverbs 3:27

"Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act."

Today I got Parker and Patterson started on their math and english early. After we dropped off Kate and Olivia at school we headed out to gather up goodies to make stockings for the single soldiers in our Brigade.  If you're interested, here is the flyer with all of the information.  Basically, the goal is to make 1,000 stockings for our soldiers and mail them all out from Fort Bliss at the same time.  If you are interested, your help would be greatly appreciated!

 I have been mailing Richard packages since I was 19.  I absolutely LOVE it.  I always send extra, because there is always someone who has nothing.  So when I found out about this little project, I happily jumped right on it!!  It was a great thing for the girls to participate in and feel a little ownership in as well.  I always try to get them involved with the military any chance I can.  This is a part of who they are and I want them to appreciate the service around them as set apart and not as the standard.  I want them to remember the sacrifice made by so many and not just grow up being so close to it that they are numb to it.  (if that makes sense) I also make every effort to get my girls "doing for others" any chance they can as well.  My oldest recently said to me, "You know, it was always so confusing when I was little.  If I had a friend over I was told to let them choose because they were a guest.  And when I went to someone else's house you told me to do whatever my friend wanted because I was a guest."  :)  Funny the things they remember pondering when they were younger ...

Mailing these off in the morning.  Happy to have had the chance to be a light and hopefully let a soldier know that they are not forgotten.

Running

I started running just after I started blogging.  I'm not sure I do either very well, but I can say that I am starting to find my place in them both.  I had my first big race last November.  My dream race, the Army Ten Miler.  It was amazing and I enjoyed every single step of it.  Before I die I will do the NYC Marathon, but I've not set a date for that just yet (as I just might die when I finish it, so I'm not in that big of a rush:)!).  For now I am signed up for the Second Annual Soldier's Marathon at Fort Benning.  I'll keep you posted on if I actually make it there or not.  Balancing everything when you're flying solo is sort of tricky, but I'm getting there.  I started back cross training in April and I am hooked. (And when I say back, I'm talking it's been around 11 years since I was in a gym.)  I am a very little person, so it was intimidating to be in the middle of a bunch a meat heads daily at the Y.  But after five months, I'm sort of recognized and accepted as a regular and it's getting easier.  And I must say I'm almost as addicted to it as I am to running.  But running, running is my first love.

There's a little 5K in our community this time of year to raise money for the local schools.  It is becoming quite a big deal.  There are vendors,music, face painting and even karaoke.  The participants range from complete families walking, high school cross country runners, all the way to serious runners.  It is quite the event for just a 5K.  Last year I decided last minute to run it.  I hadn't raced in several months and I wanted to have a little more experience before the ten miler.  The route of the race is the route I run once I'm about two miles into my normal run.  I feel sort of like it is my route.  I started running it during the little one's nap time, during the summer when it was in the upper 80's, and I ran it when it was in the 20's.  For the longest time I hated it.  Felt like I would never get the hang of it and never ever enjoy it.  But now ... now I love it.  Beautiful rolling hills ... just perfect.  I've run off many worries of the day on these hills and planned the most perfect getaways with Richard (that I one day hope to actually have) on these hills.  The hills no longer present a challenge, but encourage me to run hard and run strong.  I realized last year at the turn around point that there were no other females in front of me.  I was like, "Wow, I might be the first!"  In the end I was.  I couldn't wait to get home to tell my girls.  (Of course Richard wasn't here, but in Egypt.) They were super excited to hop in the van and come with me to pick up my trophy.

(October 2010)

This year when they saw the signs, they instantly proclaimed, "Oh Momma!  You should run it again, AND WIN!"  Oh, no!!!! I am most certainly not a competitor.  Don't like it at all.  Not why I run.  But they were relentless and so this past Saturday morning, I decided that I was going to go for it.  When I arrived, there were so many more people than there were last year, and people were doing warm up laps around the Publix parking lot, etc!! My heart started beating almost out of my chest.  I went to the registration table, signed up and quickly got back in the van.  I closed my eyes and tried to settle myself down.  I hadn't really been running the past couple of weeks.  In an extreme moment of mine one day at the gym, I injured my feet and for several days I could hardly bare to stand.  And, because I had started back with weights, my time spent running was far less than it was last year altogether.  But I knew I was stronger this year and I knew I was more confident in myself and I knew that I ran more for me this year than running to prove something.  So I just prayed that I would do my best and praise God no matter what.

I was in maybe the second row this year.  The race starts on a pretty decent size downhill.  Not my favorite way to start:).  When the horn blew, the young bucks up front started running like it was the hundred yard dash!  I thought "What are they thinking?  They are crazy and are totally going to run out of steam very soon."  But of course, I was right there with them!  I have issues with the feeling of being left behind or like I have to "catch up."  (Okay, maybe I am a little competitive:)!)  I really had to focus on getting my heart rate back down very early on in the race because of this.  I prayed a lot and just kept thinking about all of the wives who were manning the fort while their husbands were deployed.  I thought about the girls and how much they wanted me to win this silly thing.  I thought about Richard and all the crazy things he has done running with me ... for instance when we would run up the big hills he would say "Push that ball! Push that ball!  Push it!! Push it!!" and on my long run days he'd drive up next to me in the van with the windows down and blare easy listening music while looking straight ahead with the most expressionless face one could possibly have:).  He is so crazy I can't stand it sometimes!

Not only were there more runners this year, the runners were so much better!  I was never alone this year as I ran the course.  And when I turned the turnaround point, I could have sworn I saw a pink shirt out of the corner of my eye.  So I picked up my pace and I ran with all my might.  The last bit of the race is uphill and I thought I was going to die.  My feet were killing me! But I knew I was not going to give up and lose after working so hard. So I kept going and low and behold, I was able to keep my title:).  So silly, I know, but hey, it was big deal to five people waiting for me at 57 and one soldier in Logar Provence.

In the end, I was only 23 seconds before the next female.  I won't be here next year, but I will think of this race.  I am going to miss my route and the beautiful hills that I once dreaded but now enjoy and claim.  God is so gracious.  And I am so thankful.

(October 2011)

To Him be the Glory.